About Me

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I write, mostly to keep my head from exploding. It threatens to do that a lot. My blog is the pixelated version of all the voices in my head. I tend to dive into what connects me to God, my community, my family and my doubt. I do a lot of searching, not as much finding. I’m good with that. I have learned, finally, to live comfortably in the gray. In the meantime, I wrestle with God, and my doubt and my joy.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Hineini

I will walk the requisite path--
The one that begins here,
Right here, in front of me.
I have stared at its armored edge
for a small taste of Forever.
Really -
It looks no different From any other spot;
There is no demarcation,
no arrows or exes
to shout its beginning.

It is not a parade ground,
That bared-earth spot,
So there is no confetti.
It's just ground,
(as if ground were not wondrous enough:
a place to stand and catch your breath,
which is the holy name of God)
But it is merely ground -
Holy ground,
hard and empty.

I would prefer confetti.

I will walk the requisite path
On hard, bare ground,
Starting here, right here.
There is no there,
or I might take that one.
There always seems so much more than,
and I feel its tug so much more
Insistently.

But there is no confetti, and no
There.

So here is a good place to start.
And here I stand, and wait to begin,
Wait to step into the Infinite,
Because the infinite
Lies on hard, bare ground
Unfurled at my feet.

Here,

Not there, without fanfare.
It waits, patient and ready
for my step, my beginning.
Bending inwards,
curving, twisting
a double helix of Infinite discovery
That begins - and ends
with a single step,
A single breath
That is the name of God

Here.