I write, mostly to keep my head from exploding. It threatens to do that a lot. My blog is the pixelated version of all the voices in my head. I tend to dive into what connects me to God, my community, my family and my doubt. I do a lot of searching, not as much finding. I’m good with that. I have learned, finally, to live comfortably in the gray. I n the meantime, I wrestle with God, and my doubt and my joy. If nothing else, I've learned to make a mean cup of coffee.
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Thursday, December 22, 2011
Ribbons
The ribbon---
Now cut;
A neat snip of black cloth
On black cloth.
It disappears
Against a background of grief.
The ribbon---
Now cut;
It used to be torn.
Rent.
A whole tapestry,
A whole life.
Ripped and frayed,
Separate from itself.
No neat edges
Or symmetry,
No patchwork grace.
Just tangled threads,
Broken strands,
Dark on darker still,
Seasoned with salt and ash.
That ribbon of black---
Now cut;
Threaded through with light
That dances on hard edges
And skims along soft folds,
Offering a pale benediction,
And a sacred comfort,
A holy silence---
In a ribbon of black
Shot through with light
And cut---
Now cut,
Now broken
And frayed
And ragged-edged,
Woven in grief and praise.
It used to not be a ribbon, but a basic garment that was cut. Pragmatism or some such went for a symbol in place of an actual sacrifice.
ReplyDeleteI only wore my black ribbon the day of Aaron's funeral and the first day of shiva. But it still sits on my nightstand, where I confront it daily. Why I cannot discard it is a mystery to me.
beautiful Stacey… I'm so sorry for your loss.
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